you know that i could use somebody...

God is so good. for some reason i've been forgetting that. stupid me, i know.

small group started this week, which i'm really excited about. i've missed it. i've missed having community, and i'm excited about everyone who's in my group. it's going to be an awesome semester.

tonight i met with kelsey for coffee. she went on summer project too, in san diego. we're both discipled by the same person and she's been badgering us to meet and hang out because we've both just been having a hard time adjusting to being back at school after our experiences this summer. it was so good. it was nice to be able to just talk about project and not have to worry about upsetting someone. she understood everything that i was saying because she experienced it herself this summer. God definitely answered prayer through her. i needed tonight. like a lot.

i don't know what's going on with me. i feel so disconnected here at school. i'm so busy with phi mu, sga, peer mentor, ambassador, and work that i feel like i don't have time to have actual conversations with people. which i miss. i miss coming home from work and having my roommates ask me how my day was. i miss having them hold me accountable to spend time with the Lord and in the Word. and i just miss the community of project so much.

part of me feels like i'm the only one. not gonna lie, the cru movement here isn't the greatest thing. it actually kind of fails compared to this summer. i know that i shouldn't compare, but i can't help it. i want to be more involved in cru here, but it's hard. there's something lacking, i just don't know what, and i don't know how to make it better. i feel like our movement lacks relationship, and that's kind of hard to fix.

my life needs direction, which i'm hoping comes soon because i'm getting anxious. i've been looking more seriously into different grad schools and their programs and leah told me about this program called city year. i could spend a year in chicago working as a tutor or programmer for after school things. it has potential. but there's always that idea of joining staff just nagging in the back of my head. i really hope with my whole being that that's not what God is calling me to....i guess we'll see.