say it to me now...

if you would have asked me to predict where i'd be in my life this time last year my answer would be totally different from the life i'm living now. i'm not talking about if i'd see myself back at school or anything like that. i mean predict my life emotionally, spiritually, relationally.

i can't believe the person that i've become, and i mean that in a good way. last year at this time i wasn't sure what i thought about religion let alone God. i would have laughed in your face if you would have told me that i would go on a summer project and laugh even harder if you told me that it was quite possible that interning with Cru was part of God's plan for my life.

but here i am. post-project a senior in college and seriously considering what God wants for me and for my future. i have a strong feeling that he wants me to intern for a year. initially the thought absolutely terrifies me and quite frankly pisses me off. i never wanted to join staff. i'm not even that involved with cru here at high point. why the crap does God want me to join this ministry? i have no idea honestly, but looking back on it, he hasn't steered me wrong yet.

actually i've been quite blessed. the Lord has surrounded me with people who care about me even if i fail to see it at times. people who push me to do the things that i don't want to, but that God wants me to. people who believe in me and encourage me when i'm doubting. he sent me on summer project, which was the best experience of my life so far. so why wouldn't i want to follow his plan for my life? it's only been good so far!

i've been blessed with an awesome church and support through that. my college pastors, bruce and becky, are hands down the most awesome couple i've ever met. i love that they've been able to guide me on my walk with the Lord and i'm so thankful to have something like that in my life.

i started my application to intern for cru today. it's going to be hard. it's a long application that asks hard questions. i've decided that i'm not going to freak out about applying because i'm just applying. i don't even know if i'll get accepted. i'm also going to apply to different things and just see what God does with them.

i don't think i'm as scared of my future as i have been....well...at least for now.