Sunday, February 19, 2012

You Can't Handle the Truth!

here's something i blogged for my feminist theory & media class.  it's a little rough, but i think i make my point...hopefully.


This week’s reading of Dow’s “Introduction: The Rhetoric of Television, Criticism, and Theory” challenges the way that television is analyzed and opens the readers eyes to new opportunities when critiquing the media in general.  Dow states, “However, the motive for diversity in critical approaches should not be a search for the holy grail of truth but an exploration, with unavoidable twists and turns, toward the many, sometimes contradictory, possibilities of understanding.”  This is a statement that holds a lot of power. 
Critics often become so easily enraptured and consumed by the artifact that they are analyzing that sometimes an overall perspective is lost.  Many criticisms tend to have tunnel vision in the sense that they disregard other perspective or other issues that the particular criticism can uncover.  What Dow is challenging with her statement is for critics to open their eyes and to not take themselves so seriously.  There is no doubt that a traditional critical standpoint is valued in all aspects of the world of academia, however being staunch and static in research can limit one’s opportunities to discover new perspectives.  Dow is merely pointing out that sometimes our pursuit to discover the truth, we sometimes neglect other important factors in our research.  Finding the truth is important, but it should not always be the main focus so that it blinds us to other research opportunities.
Dow is hinting that a stagnant view of criticism can limit the impact it has on the audience.  She also wants us to consider how the research that is conducted will impact the audience, as well as the role that the audience plays in the research.  Dow believes that we should give the audience credit.  They are not mere passive viewers, but instead are often engaged in the media outlets which they are consuming.  There is no doubt that there are indeed passive viewers out there, however Dow is simply saying that scholars do themselves and the audience a disservice by over-generalizing and assuming that all consumers of television and media are passive.
Dow calls into question how scholars view the audience because it is reflective of the critics’ quest for seeking the ultimate truth.  If we are consumed with finding the truth, but only seek it from a certain perspective, than are we really going to find the capital “t” truth?  The question I bring to the table is who are we to determine what is true and what isn’t?  How are we to know each audience members frame of reference and past experiences?  What is true for us as scholars and as an audience will not necessarily be true for other audiences.  As scholars, we should not limit ourselves by assuming that the audience we are analyzing is in capable of understanding the mediated messages we are receiving.  Condit as quoted by Dow articulates it best by saying, “…The masses may not be cultural dupes, but they are not necessarily skilled rhetors.”
While we should not doubt the intelligence level of the audience being analyzed, we should also recognize that they are subject to and fall victim to the hegemonic messages that the media produces.  Dow states, “I question the quality or power of that resistance in the face of the repetitive and consistently reinforced hegemonic media messages that they consume.”  We should not assume that the audience is unaware of the power that the media has over them, however we would be naïve to believe that the constant exposure to these messages and ideas leaves no impact.
There are all things that we as scholars need to consider when conducting our research.  We need to recognize that it is important to find truth as it is defined to us, however we cannot become blinded by our own ambition and we cannot discredit our audience.  If we can handle our “truth,” so can they.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

flex those muscles

i've been experiencing a lot of cognitive dissonance over this blog. i like to consider myself a writer. sometimes i will openly admit that what i write is good, other times not so much. however, how can i call myself a writer if i don't write? i can't, that's how. i feel as if my skill as a writer has been slowly ebbing away from me.  if you have seen the latest harry potter film i imagine my skill leaking from me somewhat like snape's memories leak from him when he's dying.

i'm in grad school so i do a lot of writing, but it's not the same.  the type of writing i do in my papers for school is the not type of writing that i'm accustomed to.  it's more systematic and structured.  sometimes i imagine it lacking life, which isn't entirely true. i truly enjoy writing my papers for school, mainly because i'm so interested in the content matter.  it's just that grad school writing is exercising a different writing muscle and i need to make sure that i'm exercising all of my muscles.

all of this is to say that i'm going to force myself to blog once a week.  even if it is just rambling like this post is going to end up being. i'm not dumb enough to set myself up for failure by saying that i'll blog once a day. i don't have time for that and i doubt i have enough things to say for that. but i will blog once a week.  in rhetoric class we read an article that states that if you want to be a good writer you have to write. i know it sounds like i'm stating the obvious but it's true.  i can't expect my skill of writing to develop by not doing anything about it.

on a completely different note i'm extremely excited about all of the papers/projects that i am working on this semester. i have picked the overlapping theme of studying masculinity. i hope that through all of these projects i can hone in on what really appeals to me and utilize that as my thesis. i'm in three classes this semester: communication theory, qualitative research, and feminism and the media. for communication theory i'm going to create a theoretical study framework using social cognitive theory and looking at the masculinity that male student athletes portray and if that portrayal is something that is cultivated in them through the media and other influences.

for my qualitative research class i'm observing the pick-up basketball games at the student rec center and the culture that surrounds that.  i'm hoping to see themes of masculinity there as well as other things.  currently i'm noticing a trend of aggressiveness and somewhat hurtful communication and trash talk.

lastly, for my rhet. class i'm going to critically analyze "modern family" and the ways that masculinity is portrayed in the different characters.  i have to narrow it down to probably two or three characters.  right now i'm thinking that the dynamic between cam and mitch and then claire and phil will be the most interesting.  especially in claire and phil because between the two of the claire demonstrates the most stereotypical masculine traits. i'm excited. it's going to be a fun paper to write.

now that i've rambled and started stretching out my writing muscles i will end the ridiculously pointless post.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

negligent

i realize that i have become an extremely negligent blogger and since coming to grad school i have only blogged once. it's not that life in muncie hasn't been exciting, because i has, i just apparently can't handle the long term commitment of keeping up with a blog. i can't make any promises, but i am hoping to make more time for writing. i have to finish some homework tonight, but i will blog tomorrow.

i think i can, i think i can, i think i can...

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

professor hester

hahaha! that's what some of my students call me when then email me. i find it to be extremely amusing. it's better than how some of the others address me.  i've had "yo prof." these children need to learn proper emailing etiquette.

anyways. i'm three weeks into grad school and teaching. only three weeks in and i'm stressed out and have already been on a roller coaster of emotions. actually, my moods and emotions kind of reflect what the temperature has been like here lately.  i don't sleep well at night.  i'm constantly thinking about what i need to do to be a better teacher. what assignments are due for my own classes.  and when i'm not thinking these things, i'm dreaming about these things! it's insane. but honestly. i love it.

i'm loving being a student and a teacher. to say that i love it all day everyday would be a slight stretch of the truth. for example today i was extremely stressed out and frustrated by a lot of my students. but then you have that one student who just gets it. and as cheesey, corny, and cliche as this is about to sound, that one student kind of makes it worth it.

my supervisor had to remind me today that i'm not dealing with all "A" students who's main priority right now is school. and i guess that's true.  and i guess i can be a little harsh and have high expectations.  but i just want my students to succeed.  i just want them to get it. to realize that they're now in college and that i'm not their high school gym teacher who's okay with lack luster performance and lame excuses. it's been a weird balance between caring too much and being professional.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

d-day

first day of teaching and i am FREAKING OUT!!!!

Sunday, August 21, 2011

take 2

so. i'm sitting in the student center at ball state university and i just finished a lovely meal of taco bell. yes. there's a taco bell in the student center. there's also an indoor soccer field and rock wall in the rec center. pretty awesome right? anyways...

it's so weird being a student again.  it's so weird finally being in indiana. as weird as all of this is, it feels right.  there's no doubt in my mind that this is where i'm supposed to be and that i'm doing what i'm supposed to be doing.  i just feel like God is constantly re-assuring me of that.  yeah there have been some difficulties and moments of anxiety or panic, but in the end everything just works itself out.  i really love this school. i love the communication studies department.  and i really like all of the other t.a.'s so far.  i'm really excited for what this year is going to bring.  i know that i'm going to be challenged and stretched and pulled and forced to grow in ways that i can't imagine and probably won't like, but that's the experience that i knowingly signed up for.  i'm excited to start teaching.  i had doubts. so very many doubts in the beginning of the week, but now i think i'm ready for it.  i think that teaching's going to be my biggest challenge.  but i'm ready for it, especially since it's what i think i want to do for the rest of my life.

i'm so thankful that i've had friends here to show me around, help me out, and just make me feel welcome and comfortable.  i think knowing people here has made this process so much easier for me. i really feel like this is home and i feel so comfortable.  i'm extremely lucky.

i also think the town of muncie itself is pretty awesome.  it's small, but i think there's enough to do.  the downtown area is nice and cute and has some neat places to hang out.  i live close to "the village" which is convenient.  it's nice to be able to walk to places if i need anything.  it gets kind of noisy on the weekend because there are a bunch of bars in the village, but it's not unbearable.  plus, i live right next to campus so i can walk to all of my classes which is just amazing. i lucked into that. i had no idea where my house was.

i'm anxious for everything to get started. (tomorrow's my first day of my classes, i don't start teaching till wednesday).  i think this is going to be a good year.

grad school does not equal undergrad...

...and ball state university does not equal high point university. but i view that as a good thing. so i guess this is a long over-due update on my new life as a grad student, gta (graduate teaching assistant), and resident of the lovely town of muncie, indiana.

where to begin? i feel like my life has been an adventure since i left pa to make the long and treacherous 10 hour drive out to indiana. my dad and i left on the 9th at 4 am to drive out here. i didn't think the drive would be that bad since i'm use to driving 7 hours from nc to pa and back. was i poorly mistaken. the drive from pa to nc, while long, is at least pretty and interesting. the drive from pa to indiana....not so much. there were mountains, and then there were hills, and then it was flat and dull and boring and drives you to the point that you just want to cry. but thankfully we made it to my house in one piece. my crappy little neon even made it without any hiccups (yet...we will revisit the topic of my p.o.s. car in a moment).

i could bore you with the details of my day to day life these past two weeks, but honestly, who wants to read that? so instead i'll do a list of things i've learned so far:


  • grad school is going to be hard. i can already tell. i knew it was going to be hard, but i feel like i'm really going to be challenged this next semester. i'm taking 9 hours (which is considered a full course load and i've been told it'll feel like i'm taking 20 hours), teaching three discussion sections of comm 210 (bsu's required speech class), have 6 required office hours, and homework, grading, lesson planning (it's so bizarre to me that that is now part of my normal vocab). i feel overwhelmed whenever i stop to think about it.
  • high point spoiled me. a lot. my house doesn't have a washer/dryer so i go to the laundry mat. it costs $2.50 to do one load of wash. just in the washer. crazy, right? it also costs $90 to get a parking pass for the whole school year and that only lets you park in certain parking lots. i only get 500 free prints/copies per semester. i have to pay to take the rec classes like zumba and pilates. basically i'm going to a "normal" school. i really don't hate it. i like that it's so different. i'm learning a lot and it feels nice to not be put in a luxurious little bubble.
  • i'm not as awkward as i thought i was. i was so nervous about meeting the other gta's and making friends. making friends is so much easier when you're a little kid. not so much when you're an awkward 23 year old. but it's been okay. i really like all of the other gta's and i think i'm building friendships. it's good to know that i'm not the loner kid on the wall at gym class during dodge ball.
  • it's okay to not have everything planned out. i didn't register for classes till monday. i was really anxious about it because i didn't know my schedule, didn't have books, didn't know what to expect. and you know what? i'm fine. i know i have control/planning issues. and it's instances like this that remind me that it's okay to not have everything planned. it may actually be a little better.
i'm sure there's other things that i've learned that i'm forgetting about but this post is getting pretty lengthy and i don't want to be extremely dull and boring. there is one entertaining story though. i got to ride home in the sheriff of delaware county's cop car yesterday. my car broke down on the side of 69 coming back from fishers. i was sobbing (yes. i was actually crying. embarrassingly full out hysterical crying) and the officer pulled in behind me and offered to help. i don't think i've ever been that thankful to see a police officer in my life. long story short my little neon is dead.