Psalm 9:10

And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.

Psalm 9:10

hmm. a lot to think about. so since my last post bid day happened, my birthday happened, getting into the flow of the school year happened, arguments with my mother happened, good conversations with project people happened...and so on and so forth.

so confession time: i don't think that i've been fully seeking the Lord since being back at school, and i think realizing that explains a lot about a lot of things that i've been concerned with. i've been feeling confused and lonely and no wonder right? i haven't been very good about keeping in the word, i haven't been trusting the Lord with my problems. honestly, i've kind of reverted back to my whole control issues, thinking that i can only allow the Lord to work in my life where i want him to. stupid silly me. who am i to say when God can and can't work in my life? and why would i even want to do that? i've been so consumed with trying to gain control that i have missed the beauty of God's love. of his control and of his glorious and ultimate plan for me.

i met with abby today and just talking things out with her helped me to realize a lot of this. she's also challenged me to smooth out some issues with people that i've been dealing with as well as share my faith with some of the new girls in the sorority. ahhh! scary! i'm excited though. i think that i need to be challenged. i wasn't challenged that much last semester, so it'll be good.

so i need to actively seek the Lord. he will reveal his plan to me on his time, not mine.

long time no see

i still fail at posting regularly at this. hopefully though after this week, which is formal recruitment week for all sororities on my campus, my schedule will settle down and i will be able to get back into a more normal routine, including updating this!

i'm doing this new devotional. i had to read this poem the one day and loved it so much that i thought i'd share:

i thank You God

i thank You God for most this amazing

day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees

and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything

which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,

and this is the sun's birthday; this is the birth

day of life and of love and wings: and of the gay

great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing

breathing any~lifted from the no

of all nothing~human merely being

doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ear awake and

now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

~e.e. cummings

i'm also doing this thing called project 365 will i take a picture a day for a year. i tried to do it last year and failed, but i'm trying to be more disciplined this year with my daily routine and schedule, so i'm hoping for more success. i'm posting it here. i've been doing good so far!

i promise more updates after this week. :)

leavin on a jet plane...

tomorrow morning at the obnoxiously early hour of 6:35 i will be on my way to chicago (hopefully, as long as the weather isn't bad, prayers pease!). i cannot WAIT!!!

indycc/project reunion, here i come! :)

glory to God in the highest!

"And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn."

Luke 2:7

i know i fail at posting. it's been a very long time. honestly. i've been so busy and so consumed in my own life and problems that i drifted from my Father for some time. but i'm back. and it feels so good.

tonight i read the Christmas story from the Bible to my mom. the amazing part was that she asked me to. God is amazing. and i love him so much.

reading the story made me realize how much i take God's love for me for granted. he sacraficed his only son to come and save me and the world from our sins, and i can't even manage to give him a few moments of my time daily. i am a horrible daughter. i am selfish. i am stubborn. i am self centered. and i am forgiven.

God sent Jesus to save me from all of my spiritual disabilities. he loves me, and the world so much, that it's hard for me to grasp most of the time. it such a big love that it should be hard for me to disregard it, yet i so easliy throw it away so many times.

this Christmas is my first real Christmas as a full believer in Christ. he is love. and i need to learn to accept it.

Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday Jesus! <3

unfathomable grace

my entries lately have had the theme of grace. that's because my devotional is all about God's grace. it's amazing to me how i read about it daily, yet i struggle to apply God's grace to others in my life. i think i've become a bit cynical towards people in my life and towards my school. part of it i blame on senioritis. and the other part i blame on my own selfishness and inability to love others the way i should. i need to be more loving. and i need to care more. i can't be so apathetic in life. i've been so self-centered lately that i haven't stopped to look around and see how others around me are hurting or need to be loved. i need to get my head out of my own world and tune in to the real world. everyone deserves to be loved. and God's grace extends to everyone.

this weekend was good. i went camping on friday-saturday and went to a halloween party on saturday night. i went as ms. pacman. :) i love halloween and fall. i'm also so excited to see my family. they're coming down this weekend. i haven't seen them since august.

God's grace knows no boundaries. it can flow through prison bars and over church pews. it covers those in cancer wards and school yards. it softens the hearts of the runaways and the throwaways and calls to those who refuse to join in the celebration too. it is love. God's grace is love-felt. it is the outstretched arms of God that catch us when we fall. if we tried to write about it for the rest of our lives, the world would run out of ink.
~Sheila Walsh

new ink

i went with becky today to get a tattoo! it's kind of hard to see but it's the word faith with a dove in white ink. it hurt more than i thought it would, but i love it! i can't wait till it's all healed.

God's photo album of grace

"What is the Bible if it isn't God's photo album? It's a book full of our heritage, with pictures of the infinite love, mercy, favor, and goodwill shown to humankind by God. So often we just reduce the Bible to some set of principles, or we focus only on its doctrine--but it's a beautiful album featuring living pictures of God's grace."
~Nicole Johnson